Phantasy Star 3 The Devistation War

[DarkMyau]

I have been reading the Fan fictions here and on other Phantasy Star sites. And I love BlackSwords stories.

But every fan fiction I read about the Devistation war makes me frown.

The reason is because they all like to add character I don't believe were present in the final battle with Dark Force.

My favorite story is "Atonement" and what I think happened mostly, but I dont think Miun was there as why did she go to Aridia and end up damaged and wandering around for 1000 years?

Another story is "The Sound of Siren" Which is good, but it couples Orakio and Laya, which I dont buy at all. And I am pretty sure Siren was trapped on Azura at the time.

[DarkMyau]

I decide to write out what I think happened during the war. But have poor spelling and grammer skills. So even though I would love to write a fan fiction, I cant

What I can do is provide bullet points, that show the major events of the war.

So I decided to write, but realised I need to name all the places of interest and the people of interest on the Alissa 3. So here is my cast:

Orakins
• Orakio – Leader of the Orakins.
• Siren – Cyborg General of Orakio’s armies. Champion of Orakio
• General Crys – Head of Alissa 3’s Military. General of the “Aridia front”
• Morgana – Elected head of Landen, Orakio’s wife
Layans
• Laya – Leader of the Layans. Most powerful Esper on Alissa 3
• Alair – 2nd in Command of Alissa 3’s military
• Lune – Champion of Alissa 3’s army. General and champion of Laya.
• General Adan – Chief tactician of Alissa 3’s armies. General of the “Aridia front”
Dark Force’s Faction
• Dark Force – Evil incarnate. Architect of the war and enemy of all life.
• Rulakir – Corrupted brother of Orakio. Dark Forces main general.
• Zafriah – Younger sister of Laya. Anger at being overshadowed her whole life turns her against Laya.
• Khalidah – One of 5 survivors of the Spaceship “Drasgow” Vassal of Dark force.

I kept it rather simple and omitted a few characters. I wanted to add. I am facinated by the random enemies Khalidah and Zafriah, so decide to give them a back story. I was also going to add Fatima as Rulakirs dead wife, be decided against it.

Crys and Adan were added as generals to flesh out Orakios and Laya's armies. I also figured ps3's Laya had a crush on Adan so named her son after him. While Sari had heard of a great warrior named Crys so named her son after him. Morgana is just a name I liked the sound of. She doesn't add much to the story really as I pretty much, cut all her lines lol.

[DarkMyau]

Having established my characters I realised I needed to flesh out which cities were actually on the Alissa 3 before the war. Looking at the maps from Phantasy Star 3, every city looks to be in a solid defensive position, not a practical one. I would think most of the cities were closer to Aridia for trade purposes and were moved back for defensive reasons during the war. I also wondered why there are only two floating cities in Phantasy Star 3, So I added 3 more, I was going to add one to Elyslium but forgot lol.

So here is what I came up with:

Parolit Dome (known in PS3 as the Landen Dome)
• Sateria: largest city (Situated on the border with Elysium Dome), Forced to relocate to a better defensive area.
• Parolit: floating city and capital of Parolit dome. Secret base of Dark Force. Destroyed at the end of the war by Laya.
• Landen: small trading village on border with Aquatica dome. Relocates to current position and grows large due to refugees. Orakio’s wife Morgana is elected leader of Landen and Orakio makes it his main base.
• Ilan: minor city in same location. Is badly damaged when Parolit falls, most of the population moves to Landen.
• Bortevo: large trading village on border with Aridia dome. Wiped out by Dark Force starting the Devastation War.

I changed its name because I wanted a floating city lol. I admit it. I thought it also made sense that Landen would grow large due to refugees fleeing the war and Orakios influence. Poor old Bortevo cant catch a break, a junk yard in PS1 and now the sacrifical lamb lol.

Aquatica
• Loar: Floating City, Capital of Aquatica Dome. Destroyed during fighting by Alair.
• Agoe: Large twin city, on border with Draconia. Massacred by Alair’s army and forced to relocate for protection. Never regains strength.
• Agor: Large twin city, on border with Draconia. Birthplace of Orakio and Rulakir. Destroyed early in the war. Rulikur’s wife and children are killed in the fighting.
• Rysell: Tourist community near Parolit Dome. Strong fishing community.
• Scion: Libraries and main data and record storage. Renames itself Sage isle after the war.

I have always wondered about the three destroyed cities in Aquatica's south. So I named them.....I forgot the third...lets says its Orakio's fortress. *awkward look*

Elysium – Has the smallest population of any dome.
• Yaata: Large trading city located between Parolit dome access and Aridia dome access. Destroyed by Lune’s armies. Survivors relocate to Landen and reform Yaata as a small town.
• Aerone: Central city, location of pilots of Alissa 3, main connection to Satellite Dahlia.
• Abion: Trade city on border with Frigidia Dome. Crippled and abandoned in an attack by Orakio. Most of the survivors relocate to Aerone and Mistoke.

I decided to keep it simple here. I wanted Yaata to show the extent of the damage the war was causing.

Aridia (Dome intentionally made into desert as tribute to Motavia.)
• Camineet: Floating city and capital of Aridia Dome and seat of government of Alissa 3. Destroyed by Dark Force before the war.
• Hazatack: Main supply hub of Alissa 3 and maintenance facilities.

I decided that the ruling government would consist of a elected official from each dome. The capital would be in the centre of the ship. I decided against adding cities to Aridia and kept Hazatack as a supply hub instead of a city. I thought it made more sense, who would want to live in a desert???

Draconia
• Endora: Small trading city located in current position. Declares for Orakio early.
• Lensol: Main trading village with Hiponia Dome. Declares for Laya early but is conquered by Siren and Orakio.
• Techna: City that maintains the engines of Alissa 3. Direct connection to Azuria. Declares neutral. Siren kills elected leader and ends their neutrality. Thus bringing the dome under Orakio’s control.

Decided it didn't need another city.

Frigidia
• Frigidia: Large city locate near the border with Aridia Dome. Crushed by Orakio early in the war. Survivors flee to Mistoke.
• New Mota: Small city in current location. Birth place of the Dragon Knights. Never attacked during the war.
• Sky Haven: Esper Mansion on the Alissa 3.
• Mistoke: Small City located in the centre of the dome. Grows large due to refugees from Frigidia and Hiponia dome.

I gave it a capital so I could say a city was destroyed here. I think making Skyhaven the Esper Mansion makes a lot of sense.

And lastly:

Hiponia (Renamed Terminus after Rulakirs invasion that wipes out 90% of the dome and destroys all the cities)
• Lachute: Floating City and Capital of Hiponia. Birth place of Laya. Laya’s base early in the war. Is abandoned after Rulakirs attack on the dome.
• Cille: Large Trading city located near border with Draconia. First city to die at Rulakirs hands.
• Shusoran: Trading city near Frigidia Border and Aridia border. First city Rulakir attacks, small areas remain in Laya’s hands and she manages to evacuate her people from the dome.
• Eppi: Small village in south east of dome. Said to be home of the soothsayer. Wiped out by Rulikur. No Survivors.
• Gothic: Large city near centre of the dome. City wiped out by Rulikur. Citizens enslaved and sacrificed to Dark Force.

I figured Terminus was the name given to the dome after Rulakir destroyed it. I added several cities to show the extent of Rulakir's rampage and to also show Laya's armies being crippled.

So now that we have a setting.....

[DarkMyau]

Lets begin my story.

Before the War:
• A distress signal is intercepted from the Star Ship “Drasgow” The Alissa 3 moves into assist. The Neo Palm also hears the signal but is much further away. Unaware the Alissa 3 is moving to help, it slowly moves toward the Drasgow.

• The Drasgow is shown to be crippled with only one of the seven domes still functioning. One hundred Survivors are brought aboard. Unknown is that one of the survivors, a girl named Khalidah is possessed by Dark Force. The Drasgow is salvaged for parts, and the Alissa 3 continues on its journey.

• Councilman Reanius dies of old age. Another council woman Lann decides it’s time for her to retire. Reanius’ seat is filled by a popular young man named Orakio. Lann’s seat is filled by her eldest daughter Laya. Laya and Orakio hate each other from the first moment they lay eyes on each other. They regularly turn each meeting into a shouting match and constantly try to undermine each other. Council meets quickly become a farce.

Taken during the battle with Dark Force. Laya "I always pitied your wife". Orakio "I always pitied your muskcat"

• The Neo Palm arrives and sees the Drasgow dead in space and appearing to have been destroyed. They detect a faint engine trail leaving the system and decide to follow it.

• Having wandered around Alissa 3 for 2 years, Khalidah decided Parolit dome is the place for Dark Force to take root. Moving to the floating city of Parolit, Dark Force creates small, fairly weak monsters and releases them all over the ship. Travel suddenly becomes dangerous.

• Orakio presents a plan to protect travellers, using the maintenance droids (Wrens and Mieus.) Orakio argues that they be armed so they can hunt to and from their normal tasks. Laya opposes him claiming that created bio monsters could be easily used to hunt and clear out the mutant animals. The meeting quickly degenerates as Orakio and Laya who are nose to nose, spend three hours shouting in each other’s faces. It isn’t recorded who threw the first punch, but it is know that it took all four dragon knights present and the other 5 council members to separate them. The dragon knights are unable to restrain them and they clash again, the battle finally ending when Laya casts “legion” on Orakio while he is trying to crush her in a bear hug. Both are seriously wounded by the spell.

• From his sick bed Orakio begins ordering experiments on wren droids to make them more combat efficient. Siren is created at this time and several Mieu droids become more emotional. Mieufirst is created and acts as Orakio’s personal body guard. At the same time Laya instructs her scientist’s to begin researching bio monsters. She also begins to develop ties with the Alissa 3’s military.

• Seeing that the time is ripe, Dark Force sends Khalidah to Aridia. From the ground she cast’s Megid on Camineet’s engines and anti-gravity pulsar’s. Camineet crashes into the sand dunes and is destroyed. The 5 council members present are all killed. Satisfied that all is going to plan Khalidah retreats back to Parolit which is now completely under her control.

• When the news reaches Orakio and Laya, they begin forming alliances. Orakio keeps full support from Aquatica Dome. Parolit and Draconia dome pledges support to him as intern representative until they can hold an election. Frigidia pledge support to Laya as does her home dome of Hyperon. Elysium is divided on opinion, but accepts Laya as their representative until fresh elections can be organised.

• Still severely injured Orakio and Laya meet, and again have to be separated. The conversation has to be carried out by Orakio’s twin Rulakir and Laya’s sister Zafriah. Rulakir decided it’s best to refer to Zafriah’s sister as Laya and not as Orakio does (Something to the effect of Stuck up B****). Zafriah agrees that Orakio sounds better than what Laya is calling him (the rumour is Stupid D****). They agree to share power and to stick to their own sections of the Alissa 3.

• When Orakio and Laya are fully recovered Dark Force puts his plan into action. A large horde of monsters suddenly surrounds the trading town of Bortevo and kills every man, woman and child in a single night. Investigations reveal nothing and Orakio publicly blames Laya.

• Supreme Commander Crys declares he will side with Orakio, but his chief tactical advisor Adan publically sides with Laya as do Generals Alair and Lune. Orakio unveils Siren to Laya’s horror and names him general.


I kept it simple. As I have already said, I am fascinated with Khalidah, so gave her and Zafriah key roles. I am an intellectual, although not on the level Orakio or Laya would have been, but in my time being around other smart A**** lol. I have noticed that we are all rather arrogant and quite childish. So I thought that Orakio and Laya would be a bit full of themselves. Why else would they start a war on a spaceship? I found it funny to make them "hate at first site" It fits rather well don't you think?

For the record, I think they both would have loved Adan and Gwyn, but would have ruined any formal gathering by fighting with each other. I had a mental picture of Adan and Kara cutting their wedding cake, and staring in disbelief as Laya and Orakio wrestle around shouting insults at each other.

[DarkMyau]

Lets get too it then:

The war begins – 1st Year
Note: This will only cover the major events of the Devastation war. Truly the fighting never stopped completely and there were minor skirmishes and several indecisive battles.

• Orakio marches into Aridia at the head of a large army and demands Laya submit herself for trial. Laya, herself at the head of an equally large army refuses and instead insists Orakio submit himself for trial. Tensions mount as neither side backs down and under the baking sun, the first battle of the Devastation war begins north of Hazatack. Casualties’ are high on both sides and it ends in stalemate. Both armies are forced to withdraw due to low food and water and the harsh Aridia desert.
• Orakio expands on his plans to incorporate droids into the army to lower human casualties. Laya does the same with bio monsters.

2nd Year
• Laya’s Mother Lann dies of old age. Zafriah demands an end to the war as it was their mother’s last wish, before more people are hurt. Laya publicly shames Zafriah and demotes her to her younger sister Edea’s assistant. Zafriah, always envious of Laya’s beauty and popularity grows to hate her sisters. She is made into a laughing stock by Laya and grows angry. Sensing this Khalidah seeks her out and corrupts her. Zafriah is now a spy for Dark Force.

3rd year
• Orakio fakes an attack on Aerone and hits Frigidia hard. General Alair holds him but the city is lost. The refugees all flee to Mistoke.
• Angry at this attack, Alair and Laya lead a force into Aquatica and destroy the twin cities of Agoe and Agor. Rulakir’s wife and children are killed in this attack. A simple man named Len is also killed by bio monsters while fleeing. Survivors flee over the sea to an empty island and build a new Agoe. Rulakir overcome with grief, hides in his rooms for three years. He is slowly corrupted by Dark Force during this time who is feeding on his anger and misery.
• Lune also lead’s an attack to Yaata and devastates the small city. The survivors flee to the Parolit dome and are merged into the village of Landen. Though some found a new Yaata. Sateria is also hit hard in the attack and although Lune is repulsed, decide to relocate to a better defensive location.

4th year
• Lensol, having openly declared allegiance to Laya is attack and taken by Siren. Techna declares itself neutral. Siren publicly kills the Governor of Techna and declares himself Master of Draconia. He fortifies Azura at this time and uses it as a factory to produce more combat robots.
• Morgana is elected head of Landen and marries Orakio on the same day she is sworn in. Landen grows in influence and size. Orakio relocates Landen to a safer location, very close to the newly relocated Sateria and builds his fortress there.

5th year
• Orakio finally banishes Alair from Aquatica. Orakio confronts Alair personally and is badly injured by the Esper. Alair’s army is broken and she badly hurt as well. After two weeks of counter siege, the order is finally given to retreat. Alair’s remaining army breaks out and heads for Frigidia, but not before Loar is brought crashing down into the sea by the remaining Esper’s all casting Megid on it. Survivors are rescued and moved to Landen.
• Following up on Orakio’s victory. General Crys leads the main Orikan army into Arida and is met by General Adan. They set up defensive lines and begin attacking each other. This battle becomes known as the Aridian front and lasts for 7 years and is only ended by Laya and Orakio ordering them to stop the fighting. Both Orikan and Layan soldiers dread being sent to this meat grinder.

6th year
• Siren begins a series of attacks on Cille that break through Cille’s defences and terrorises the country side. He is finally repulsed by Laya herself. Siren returns a few months later and again break’s through. Laya again repulses him, and leads an army into Draconia. Siren, expecting ambushes Laya’s army and drives them out of Draconia.
• Worried that Lune is planning an attack, Orakio leads an elite force into Elysium. He manages to take a small area and build a fortress he names Divisia. Lune tries to break it down, but is thwarted at every turn. Divisia is so successful at repelling Lune’s army that a town forms behind it named North Divisia.

7th Year
• Bored with the stalemate, Dark Force increases the strength of his monsters. Traveling outside of cities alone becomes impossible.
• Siren returns to Hyperion again, but is swiftly defeated by Laya. Frustrated by her lack of progress in the war, Laya orders the Draconia-Hyperion passage sealed shut. Siren tries to repair the passage but fails. The Orakin armies increase in size on the Aridia front, but the deadlock remains.

8th Year
• Seizing the initiative Orakio attacks Abion and wipes it out after several months of intense siege. Survivors flee to Aerone which holds Orakio’s armies in check. Lune drives Orakio back to Divisia with reinforcement’s from Frigidia over several long months.
• Laya is pressed to release casualty figures and admits publicly to 27% of the Layan army is dead. The real figure is 46%. The Orakin army casualty rate is at 49%. Both Orakin and Layan armies are now 87% Cyborgs/Monsters.

9th Year
• Laya upon hearing of the birth of Orakio’s son, calls for the soothsayer and asks if she will ever find a true love. She is informed that her true love was a man named Len who was killed by Bio Monsters in an attack she personally led. Stricken with grief, Laya confesses to Alair that she will die alone and wishes that she could have had a family. Alair who has never considered a husband or family approaches the soothsayer. She is shown an image of Nial and Aron and told who they are. Horrified she flees to her room and tossing her armour and sword into a corner and casts Nafoi on them until they are vaporised. Her rage is only stopped by Laya magically restraining her. Alair refuses to fight ever again. Laya throws her in a dungeon.
• Orakio becomes worried about Siren’s loyalty. The cyborg begins to disregard orders from Crys and causes severe casualties on his own troops with attacks that achieve nothing.

10th year
• Orakio realizes Siren is wearing his army out with indecisive attacks. He orders Sirens forces back to Azura for repairs and reequipping. Orakio then moves Azura away from the Alissa 3, trapping Siren and his followers for 1000 years. Siren, confused blames Laya and moves his force into cryogenic sleep.
• Lune has also become a burden on Laya; he sends a large number of soldiers on a suicide mission to break Divisia. An assessment is made that Laya can no longer hold Elysium with her current forces if Lune continues to attack Divisia. Lune disobeys Laya several times and launches attacks on Divisia. Laya offers Alair a deal if she will take Lune to Dahlia, she can trap them there and Alair can sleep 1000 years. Alair agrees to the plan and tricks her brother into leaving for Dahlia. Once they arrive the moon is moved away from the Alissa 3. Lune swears revenge on Orakio for trapping him and enters cryogenic sleep. He notices Alair has a broad smile on her face as she enters her stasis pod.

11th year
• Zafriah is caught informing Rulakir of Layan army moments. She escapes custody and flees to Parolit.
• The Orakin army and Layan armies are finally broken and become a line of rag tag groups barely held together by hate. They still continue to throw themselves against each other, but neither has the strength to break through anymore. The war is effectively over.
• Sensing this Dark Force Sends his new vassal Rulakir to attack Hyperion dome. Leading a massive army Rulakir easily passes through the front lines of General Crys and Adan. And smashes his way into Hyperion. Shusoron fails to hold his army out of the dome, but isn’t destroyed. Rulakir marches through leaving the city under siege. Cille is not as lucky as it is quickly destroyed by Rulakir. Survivors are mostly caught fleeing and sacrificed to Dark Force. Gothic, Hyperion’s largest city falls in a terrible battle that leaves 80% of the population dead or injured. Oddly Dark Force orders Rulakir to let the survivors leave. The small village of Eppi is surrounded by Dark Forces army and all the people dragged out and imprisoned. They are all sacrificed to Dark Force one by one over the years. The last villager, a young girl at the time of capture is sacrificed to Dark Force by Khalidah herself 20 years after Orakio’s and Laya’s deaths.

12th year – final year of the war
• Rulakir attacks Lashute and easily defeats Laya’s remaining forces. In a confrontation with Laya, Rulakir admits he is not on Orakio’s side and names Dark Force as his master.
• Rulakir finishes the destruction of Hyperion dome, turning it into a waste land and takes Laya’s capital Lashute for himself. Laya evacuates the remaining people to Frigidia and orders the passage sealed. Laya, realising she doesn’t have the strength to beat Rulakir’s armies anymore moves to trap him by also sealing the Aridia- Hyperion passage. Laya also names the dome Terminus, which it is known from then on.
• The sages in the Esper mansion confirm the existence of Dark Force. Laya sends spy’s who confirm Dark Force is located in the city of Parolit. Laya attempts to contact Orakio to call a truce, but is blocked by General Crys who reveals that he is also a servant of Dark Force. Orakio over hears the conversation and attacks Crys. Crys injures Orakio and forces him to flee. With Mieufirst and Mieu Orakio allows himself to be captured by Adan’s forces.
• Adan reveals that he is also a servant of Dark Force, but doesn’t believe Orakio that Crys is. Spies report this to Laya, who with help for the five remaining Dragon Knights rescues Orakio
• Orakio contacts Scion and they confirm everything. A plan is concocted to end the war and defeat Dark Force. Laya’s sister Edea does the talking with Orakio’s Lieutenant’s as Orakio and Laya still cannot be in the same place without fighting.
• Orakio and Laya lead their small force on Adan’s Headquarters. Adan is killed in the fighting and Laya Orders her Army to retreat from Aridia. Orakio declares victory openly to his army and Uses the commotion on to attack Crys, Crys is also killed. Orakio orders his armies to retreat to Landen.
• Laya seals the Frigidia dome and the Elysium dome. Orakio seals The Draconian dome. A section of Laya’s army, mostly survivors from Cille and Shusoron take advantage of the situation and attack Aquatica. They refuse all Laya’s orders and set up a base on the island north of Agoe. Agoe is now too weak to fight them and Cille is reborn. Aquatica is sealed off By Orakio.
• Muin, Crys former champion, has developed a strange affection for Orakio and doesn’t understand what is going on. She, seeing Laya attacks her and is badly damaged by the Dragon Knight Eusis, all the while Orakio pleading with her to stop. Reluctantly Orakio leaves her damaged and vows to fix her when he returns.
• Crys logistical officer Wren is sent by Orakio to a cave and told to wait for a descendant of Orakio (He was supposed to wait for Edea) Orakio reveals the secret world under Aridia, that he had constructed in order to protect his family and remaining followers should he loose the war. Edea is sent into cryogenic sleep in case anything goes wrong. The Aridia dome is sealed off and Orakio and Laya’s small force enters Landen Dome (renamed by Morgana a few months ago)
• Using a pincer attack Orakio attack Parolit from two sides effectively breaking Dark Forces small army. Dark Force summons Khalidah and Rulakir from Terminus to protect him. Khalidah confronts Laya and is killed. Zafriah escapes Laya’s wrath and teleports back to Terminus. She declares herself queen of Lashute. But the dead body of Khalidah revives and she quickly brings Zafriah to heel.
• Orakio and Laya confront Dark Force, who revels in their anger. He then corrupts two of the remaining three dragon knights to his side and battle is joined. All the Dragon Knights are killed as is Mieufirst. Badly wounded Orakio manages to seal Dark Force with his sword while Laya keeps Dark Force off balance with her spells. As Dark Force is sealed Rulakir appears and kills Orakio in cold blood. He then torments Laya, easily deflecting her remaining magic. While he is gloating, Laya casts Megid on Parolit’s engines and the city crashes down into the ocean. Furious Rulakir kills Laya and is forced to retreat to Terminus. The war is over.

Pretty much straight to the point, arn't I . The ending is taken from the fan fic "Atonement" by Darrell Whitney. Its on the Phantasy Star Pages. Not here sorry. I changed a bit of it though as I didn't buy Miun being there. Originally I had a muskcat named Naki with them and a dragon Knight named Peter. But left them out. Mieufirst is a tribute to Neifirst.

[DarkMyau]

So what happens next:

After the war
• With almost 80% of the Alissa 3’s population dead, no remaining city is strong enough to claim control over their dome. With the link to the maintainence droid in Aridia cut off most roads fall into disrepair and technology regresses dramatically. Former generals and important people in Orakio’s and Laya’s armies declare themselves kings and queens. The people settle into feudal societies.
• Upon entering Lachute Rulakir names himself king. Both Zafriah and Khalidah demand he marry and name them queen, but he rejects them both. He easily wins the ensuing fight and both women settle into servant roles. Rulakirs forces are unable to repair the damage to the passages and Rulakir finally accepts he is trapped. With Dark Forces power weakened they decide to wait 1000 year till he regains his power.

I hope you all liked my story.

[Nommy]

This had to have taken a ton of work. I hope you're still writing, especially if you want to make a career of it.

[DarkMyau]

I'm glad you liked it.

No one else has commented on the story. So I was wondering what everyone thought.

[Nommy]

What other types of writing do you do?

[DarkMyau]

LOL I didn't write this technically.

I just used bullet points.
This is the only thing I have ever written. I hope everyone liked it. I would love to write a full saga like Black Sword did.

BUTTTTT I don't really like the whole Siren/Lune being trapped thing. I mean the moonstone and moontear move both moons, not just one. So I would say that Orakio and Laya had to be involved in moving them away. But why would they do that? Wouldn't Laya just order Lune to stop and well...couldn't Orakio just switch Siren off?

I tried to answer it by saying that Siren and Lune were obsessed with attacks that were killing a lot of their own soldiers (Lune on Divisia and Siren on Chille) so they had to be gotten rid of. But it still doesn't really seem right. Maybe it was the only way Orakio and Laya would trust each other?

[Nommy]

Actually, I'm asking because I'm looking for an assistant writer. I need someone who can grammar check, consistency check, and help bounce ideas back and forth with. There are two stories I have that are currently in progress with another one still in the alpha developmental phase and a few more ideas sitting on the shelf.

As for the two games in progress, which would be what we'd be working on to start, both deal with elements that some players/readers may find objectionable, for numerous reasons, so if that sort of thing is something you prefer to stay away from, then I understand.

So, that's as far into detail as I'm willing to go in an open forum. If you're interested, PM me and I'll give you the details of the issues I mentioned if that's a concern for you, and if not I'll go over a few things before we continue.

The choice is up to you.

[DarkMyau]

Spelling and grammar are not my strong points. I am trying to write a full fan fiction about this story but am having trouble with how to start it.

[Nommy]

Spelling and grammar are my strong points. It's mostly consistency, making sure I'm not overusing certain words, and reflective thinking that get me. I don't mind helping you with your story if you're willing to help me with mine.

You scratch my back, I scratch yours. But watch that one spot, I'm ticklish there D= do not like being tickled... ;_;

[steve_muzz]

I like all of this apart from:

Orakio presents a plan to protect travellers, using the maintenance droids (Wrens and Mieus.) Orakio argues that they be armed so they can hunt to and from their normal tasks. Laya opposes him claiming that created bio monsters could be easily used to hunt and clear out the mutant animals. The meeting quickly degenerates as Orakio and Laya who are nose to nose, spend three hours shouting in each other’s faces. It isn’t recorded who threw the first punch, but it is know that it took all four dragon knights present and the other 5 council members to separate them. The dragon knights are unable to restrain them and they clash again, the battle finally ending when Laya casts “legion” on Orakio while he is trying to crush her in a bear hug. Both are seriously wounded by the spell.

I think there needs to be a more political reason or more extreme reason as to why these two would instigate actions that would start a war. Just having an argument seems very extrme indeed. Cyborgs and Biomonsters are quite dispensable at this point they are easy to create. I don't think they would be the basis of a war or falling out. How about the fact both sides are talking about creating armies of cyborgs or monsters this could start a cold war. Both fear with large reinforcements the other side would be too strong too trust. Laya questions Orakio's need for wanting cyborgs so in turn tells him for the safety of me people if you create a cyborg army I'll make just as many monsters in case your actions are not genuine. Cold wars and wars often start from greed and mis trust!

[DarkMyau]

Glad you liked it.

That was one of my favourite bits. I though Orakio and Laya trading punches was funny.

I was going to add this: Everyone present learnt two things that day. 1. Laya has an iron jaw and could easily become heavy weight champion. 2.Casting foi in Orakio's face just makes him mad.