Why do girls love the cocky, arrogant guys?

[Monocromatico]

In the depth of every human soul, what they really want is to seek on other people what they can´t get from themselves. More than expressions of confidence, people go for something they admire, something they lack and wish to have within them, but couldn´t. So you may see very nice girls with stupid boys, and sweet guys with bitchy chicks. And they are often happy with this.<p>I would give it a biological explanation, but to be biologically accurate I would have to go into polygamy, which is not seen with good eyes in this side of the planet :^P

[Alayshia]

<blockquote><i>Originally posted by ThePeaGuy</i><p>I don't mean to generalise as it's not my intention, but why do YOU think that girls go for the arrogant, cocky guys? Is it because they are alpha males, who exibit dominant traits that will prove beneficial to females (who are consciously unaware) to produce the next generation of healthy, non-recessive human beings?<p>Well, what do you guys and gals here think?<p>[size=small][Edit by ThePeaGuy on [TIME]1126723706[/TIME]][/size]<br></blockquote><p> Honestly, I agree with that concept. It's a widely accepted notion that "confidence is sexy." If that is true, even 50%+ of the time, I would definately attribute it to the same instincts ni modern women as those which were displayed thousands of years ago. (Or, more accurately, are theorized to have been very promenent in ancient societies) It's the same driving force that controls the basic laws of nature. "Kill or be killed" and "Mate the best Male" are still very present in the animal kingdom. Are we so concieted that we refuse to consider those fundamentals apply to us? Even subconsciously? <p> Good topic =)<br>

[Lord Khyron]

Technically there is something in Psychology called the matching phenomenon.<p>What it says is that people date people of similar attractiveness.<p>Aka a 5 on a 1-10 will date a 5 or sometimes a 4-6.<br>Aka a 1 will date either a 0 or a 2.<p>There is a corollary of this: When you see a guy that is a 10 dating a girl that is 1.. That girl either: A) Gives head B) Puts out C) Rich or D) Trapped the guy. If you see a girl that is a 10, dating a guy that is a 1.. It is either A) The guy is Rich, B) Guy gives good head, C) Abused chick who needs love or D) Pregnant and trapped. <p>The matching hypothesis is proven everyday. 1 is ugly, 10 is pretty.

[Forge]

My input -<p>To some extent, I must agree with the opinion that any guy can get any girl - a lot of it is a confidence thing, and the desire of most people (male and female) to be liked. Therefore, an average looking guy will be able to date an attractive girl if he shows an interest in her, and asks her out.<p>The girl would not be propositioned much, so is more likely to agree to date, and also she enjoys the feeling of being liked.<p>Furthermore, the average guy can use the power of romance - a tool to melt the heart of many women...<p>I find also that I'm agreeing with Khyron - I find that I agree entirely with your explaination of 'matching phenomenon' and the exceptions.<p>But one further point - have you ever met someone you'd actually rate as a 1?

[Lord Khyron]

Yes I have.. I kept her as a friend only because she didn't fit my criteria.<p>It was a great friendship.<p>Technically she was a closet lesbian, so it never would have worked out. <p>

[Neo48]

Its good that you all mention confidence, because its not just being attractive, its the whole basis of a relationship. Being able to tell a girl she looks good, or doing something with her where you don't think about regret is how it all starts. Being willing to show her that you do care, and absolutely wanting to do anything to prove how much you like them is a key in confidence. You can feel that way in your mind, but it never gets you anywhere without confidence. As people age, late teens/early twenties, they begin to think about their futures, and stop caring about their "party life". Maturity can over-rule good looks. But what are good looks? Is it just the placement of your eyes and nose? In a society we live in, it goes beyond that, the attractiveness comes from the mind.<p>Any guy can be cocky, you don't have to be the stereo-typed good looking guy to be cocky. And you certainly don't have to feel that you can't get any girl you want. Everyone has interests, and if you can fullfill those interests. Thats how friends are made. Going beyond friends is a whole different story, that leads into trust, reliability, and care. Girls may find that being cocky about those things is attractive as well. Surprises are also something that cockiness can grow in, as long as you don't regret or hold anything back.<p>Cockiness comes from not regretting about liking a girl. And not regretting to do anything you can for them. Thats where true attractive cockiness comes from.<p>As far as arrogant? Well....just who are they being arrogant too?

[Malakai]

This is a very interesting topic, but what's more interesting is to see how everyone has repsonded. I saw a few things that I'd like to toss back into the air, based on what I've seen as a person. I think Khyron posted them all.<p> <blockquote>Really, they are in love with the fact of being loved. They can't be happy unless someone loves them, even if it's a lie just to get screwed. Many girls fall into this category. To be loved is most girl's dream, and so they will make it come true any way possible. </blockquote> <p>I have seen that this happens mostly to young women who haven't had much experience in long term relationships or dating young men in general. They might be flattered and fall for the first cannonballer who asks her out as a freshman because she feels that need to be loved, or because she might be afraid that this might be the only chance. Therefore, sometimes girls settle for someone who might not be very...compatable, we'll say.<p> <blockquote>All you need to know is that YOU CAN get any type of girl you want in the world. Provided you have the personality and sometimes money.</blockquote> <p>Personality and sense of humor I will agree with, since in my experience the best girlfriends are those who are attracted to YOU, and not your wallet. Which brings me to say that if a girl wants you for your money, I don't believe it's worth the trouble, no matter how much physical intimacy she might divulge with you. Economic stability is important, but peace of mind comes before piece of ass.<p> <blockquote>[Many beautiful girls never get asked out, because guys think they are already taken. Take a chance!</blockquote> <p>Bingo. And it's incredible how self-conscious girls are, notwithstanding that they might be the most beautiful thing you'veever laid eyes on. And they are hardly to blame; we have created a society in which our young women believe they need to modify their natural beauty in order to pander to a group of testosterone-fueled dough heads. But that's another conversation.<p>Now I'll turn the tables around for a bit. While I find confidence an attractive trait in a young woman, I do not find brazenness or arrogance appealing whatsoever. On the contrary, they are attributes that repulse me. I think that this is what young women with a good mind truly look for in a man, but sometimes are mistaken or tricked. I find that personality and intimacy can magnify and radiate beauty. For example, girls I have dated in the past became more attractive over time as I have gotten to know them better because their natural beauty was magnified by who they were and how they conducted themselves. Others, well...they hand't quite figured out what they wanted or who they were, I would say.

[Forge]

I must agree with Malakai here - on the money issue. Would you actually want a girlfriend who is only with you for your money? That does not make a serious relationship, but instead seems more like prostitution. And most upstanding girls who you'd consider partner material would be repulsed by this idea.

[LegoMuskCat]

<blockquote><i>Originally posted by Forge</i><p>I must agree with Malakai here - on the money issue. Would you actually want a girlfriend who is only with you for your money? That does not make a serious relationship, but instead seems more like prostitution. And most upstanding girls who you'd consider partner material would be repulsed by this idea.<br></blockquote><br>Reminds me of a conversation with a friend of mine from yesterday... Basically, she went on and on about some guy that she "liked", because he was good-looking and had money -- keyword there being money. She sounded shallow for the most part. <p>But hey, I think as far as that goes, it goes both ways. People want people with money. <p>And I think girls go for cocky, arrogant guys...well, just think about what kind of guys are like that in the first place. Around here, guys like that are usually popular and have (again) money. Not to say that all of the girls go for that... just the girls that are also popular do. <p>So there you have it, that's my input on the matter.

[Forge]

I think that it doesn't matter if they have money, but to use it as a major reason is shallow.<p>Although, I can see that money may be a nice bonus - lavish dates and stuff...<p>I think that there are two main types of relationship though - sex and friendship. Sex is shallow, but a deep relationship with friendship can technically overcome all barriers.

[Malakai]

Forge brought up an interesting point about relationships; if one becomes involved because of carnal desire or because he/she has genuine concern for the other person.<p>Now, what I find intriguing about people is this: depsite the fact that the relationships which begin with carnal desire have a much higher probability of ending (and ending much sooner at that) rather than those built on a foundation of trust or friendship, those are the relationships which are most common among us in society, especially in our young people. Now, if we witness for ourselves that such a rapport with another often ends in disaster or best a disengagement, why on earth is it pursued so much? Is commitment to another person so terrifying that we cannot bear to think that we might have to keep promises and uphold standards? God forbid that we turn into mere animals who abandon all coherent and logical thought to a physicsal whim that comes and goes like the wind.

[Forge]

I believe that the reason this happens is pure lust - which is especially prominent in adolescents. Here, I feel that we are following instinct more that is socially apt - and that instinct requires several partners for sex to ensure maximum reproduction of the species.<p>I must agree with you that carnal relationships (nice term!) are less likely to last, but I find myself doulby lucky.<p>My girlfriend and I had known each other for almost a year or so before we started going out. However, there was an instant desire for each other, although neither of us expressed it immediately for a number or reasons. We grew to become good friends, and then one day we both happened to realise that we were attracted to each other and so soon started to date.<p>I think that this, although retrospectively frustrating, gives us a fantastic relationship due to the fact that we'd been friends for such a time that we'd seen all aspects of each other, and now we know that we've nothing to hide.<p>We have both the deep friendship kind of love, and the carnal type, but balanced in such a way that we both feel incredibly happy about the relationship and consider ourselves very lucky.<p>(And after seven months it's still going strong.)<p>[size=small][Edit by Forge on [TIME]1136458723[/TIME]][/size]