The Phantasy Star Oscars Awards Ceremony
by Christine Carpenter

{Rika} Welcome everbody, To the first annual Phantasy Star Oscars, live from the glorious Piata Auditorium! I am your host Rika, and along with my co-host Chaz, we shall be bringing you the best of the brightest stars in the Algo system!

{Chaz} Our panel of judges reviewed the 13 categories, and the results are in! Our first being the category of "Best Actor." There were many contenders but it was finally narrowed down to three! To present the award is Ayn of PS3.

{Ayn} Thank You,Chaz. All three nominated for this category were selected for their strength of character and mind as well as their physical strenth. They are truly the best and brightest of Algo. The nominees are: Rolf(PS2), Rune(PS4) and Rhys(PS3). And the oscar goes to.....Rolf!!

(Rolf} Um...gee I don't know what to say!! Thank You very much! If only Nei were here to see this...

{Rika} Congratulations Rolf! Next, to present the category "Best Actress", is Anna of PS2!

{Anna} Hmph. Well, since it's obvious it's not me I'll get on with it. Nominated were Nei, Alis and Alys. Was I anywhere near the running? Noooo! But who's bitter? The oscar goes to Nei, who can't be here tonight on the account that she's dead. Accepting for her is Rolf (like THAT'S a surprise)

{Rolf} Anna! How can you be so cold?! NEi!!! *waaahhh*

(Anna) Get OVER it already, Rolf!! (sheesh, you'd think she was his wife or somethin')

(Chaz) Let it out Rolf, I understand your pain. It's hard to lose a loved one. And the presenter of our next award shares you pain too. From PS3, here's Miun.

{Miun} Orakio? Are you Orakio?

{Chaz} No, I'm not! Will you please read the card?

{Miun} Is it about Orakio?

(Chaz} Just Read it!

{Miun} Um, The category of "Best Non-Human" was a difficult one for our judges. There are so many wonderful characters who have touched our hearts (the way Orakio touched mine) and are so deserving of this award. It was finally narrowed down to three. The nominees are Myau(PS1), Wren(PS3) and Wren(PS4). Wow! Two Wrens! (Ooops) Um, the winner is....Wren(PS4)!

{Wren4} Thank you very much! It is an honor to accept such a prestigious award!

{Wren3} Ah, you were just lucky!

{Wren4} My goodness, a little bit of a sore loser,are we brother?

{Wren3} Watch your mouth! Just because your tall and smart and use big words, walking around like a big know it all! I'm still your big brother!

{Wren4} Not from where I'm standing, shorty!!

{Wren3} THAT'S IT!!! NO MORE! EVER SINCE YOU CAME AROUND...*yammer yammer*

{Wren4} LIKE IT'S MY FAULT I'M A MORE INTERESTING CHARACTER....*yammer yammer*

{Miun} Orakio? Orakio! Where is he...?

{Rika} Um, Anyway, while the two Wrens go backstage to settle their, um, grievances...our next category is "Best Supporting Character" Wren of PS3 was supposed to be our presentor but it looks like I'll have to do it! After all, if it weren't for the supporting cast, Phantasy Star wouldn't be Phantasy Star! The nominees are Tyler(PS2), Lutz(PS2) and Grandfather Dorin(PS4). The Oscar goes to... Lutz! Accepting for him is the current Lutz, Rune!

{Rune} Whadda you mean, accepting FOR him? I AM him!

{Rika} Um, sorry...next we have our most heartbreaking category, "Most Heartwrenching Death Sequence," because the winner of this oscar is no longer with us. Presenting the award is..oh, you have got to be kidding me! Rolf!

{Rolf} *sniff* There were thre nominees. Nei *wahhh*, Nero..

{Alis} Wahhh!

{Rolf} and Alys.

{Chaz) Wahhh!

{Rolf} And the oscar goes to....NEI!!! WAAAAAUUUUGGGHHH!

{Alis and Chaz} WAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!

{Rune} Get these crybabies away! The're dampening the mood!! (God how depressing...)

{Rika} Next CATEGORY, QUICK! Um, ok!! "Best Version of Dark Force" The presentor is Zio. Zio? (oh no...)

{Zio) Wahahahaha!! You thought you could choose only ONE version of Dark Force!! Don't be silly, They are ALL The Best!! And I am their most loyal and feared servant!

{Rika} Actually, It was Lassic who won "Best Henchman of the Profound Darkness".....

{Zio} WHAT!!!!! That old fart! I am much more evil than he!!

{Lassic} Don't bet on it kid! The judges know their stuff!

{Zio} How DARE You!! I'll show you who's the best!!

{Lassic} Come and get me punk!
*Crash!*

{Wren3} Oh, yeah? Let's see YOU change into a hovercraft!!
*Zap!*

{Rolf and Chaz) WAAAAGGGHHHHH!!! NEI!! ALYS!!!! WAAAGGGHHHH!!
*Crunch!*

{Wren4)Why bother?! I can build one much more efficent than you in 2 seconds flat!!
*Explosion!*

{Zio} Die you crusty piece of snadworm dung!!!!
*Zakk!*

{Rika} Oh my.....things have really gotten out of control.....
*the smell of smoke fills the auditorium....*
{Lassic} You call that magic, you pathetic little chirper!? Anothergate!
*whoopwhoopwhoop*

{Anna} Me! Me! I deserve that stupid award!! Not some pointy eared bimbo!
*Thwoom!*

{Rune} I think it would be best to postpone the rest of the awards, don't you think Rika?
*Skrash!*

{Wren4}Give it up already! You're too short and too old! Accept your fate!
*Aiiieee!!!*

{Miun} Orakiooooo!
*whine whimper*

{Zio} That's it!! MEGIDO!!!!

{everybody} Oh crap.....

*KABOOOM*

{Rika}*koff koff* Well, I'm standing in whats left of the auditorium. Unfoutunately, folks, the rest of the ceremony will have to be postponed till a later date, after everything is repaired. *koff* Please join us again then. Thank you for coming.*koff koff*

{Profound Darkness} Nyahahahah! Just wait! What I have planned for the second ceremony will blow away what I accomplished in the first! All is going to plan! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!