Feelings Of A Lonely Woman
by Alys Rysel

I’ve thought that I was strong enough, but now all those memories archived in the depths of my heart are coming back to me. And the only thing I feel is pain. Pain and sorrow of myself.

It was my fault. If I hadn’t been so resentful, he would be here with me now. But then I was angry. I wanted to avenge my mother’s pride.

The first thing that came to my mind when I knew that he was looking for my help was to humble him. But then, in battle, I realized that he was an Orakian. He could have some technique power but he was an Orakian after all. Layans can’t pick up any sword, and he was a great swordsman. So, when I was defeated, I decided to join him with the excuse of protecting my Power Topaz, the gem that allowed us to reach the legendary land of Satellite. But what I really wanted was to know him, just to find another chance to humiliate him. I wanted to show him who I was and how the true Orakians are. But at the end of the journey, things changed. I was deeply in love with him. I couldn’t help it. Despite my rudeness, he was nice to me. He helped me in whatever I needed, he cared for me. And I decided to give him an opportunity. I didn’t want to, but then I realized it was too late. I told myself not to fall in love with him, with the son of the man who abandoned his land and my mother for a Layan girl. But it had been stronger than me. That’s why I felt so miserable when he chose Thea as his wife.

She had advantages: they were cousins. They grew up together. They were Layan. So it was reasonable that she had been the chosen.

I returned to Landen almost immediately after his choice. There was nothing left for there, in Azura. I returned heart-broken, just as my mother did. But I tried (as much as I could) not to show it.

I decided to protect Landen and Satera instead of looking for a husband. I didn’t want to fall in love again at that time.

”I´m young. Nothing will happen if I don’t marry right now”, I used to say. My parents were worried, specially mum, who couldn’t understand our fate: both of us couldn’t marry the man we loved. She didn’t want me to become a tough person, not in appearance, but at heart.

And she thought that I was going to have normal royal life when I met Lian. Lian was a Sateran boy who I met during a holiday. We began to share our time and, soon, we were more than friends. I loved him, but not as much as my first love. But he understood it. He lived something similar: his sister was about to marry a young man when he ran away, and she still misses him.

But I am doomed by fate: a few days before our wedding, he died. After that, I decided to look after my cities. I didn’t want to get hurt by love again.

And, in that, I succeeded. Every attack of Lune´s army has been stopped, with the exception of the first attack, which destroyed Satera, my beautiful homeland. By then, we weren’t ready for an attack and his army was enormous. But we have stopped him, although he raised a bridge to reach Landen, just to get to Aridia and find Laya´s treasure. Now people accept me and give me support because of that.

But I’m alone. Mum and Dad are dead, Lian is dead, Satera is destroyed and now, I got the news that Ayn is also dead.

I can’t believe it. Someone attacked Azura, and he didn’t want to leave. So did Thea, his beloved wife. But their son, Sean, escaped and is coming here, to ask for help, just as his father did some time ago.

I will help him the most I can. I won’t commit the same error as before: I won’t be resentful. He can be more Layan than Orakian, he can be the grandson of the man who destroyed my mother’s heart (and the son of the man I’ve loved, how quaint), but those things doesn’t make him a criminal. Nobody is perfect. He needs help, he must find out who killed his parents and his people.

I can’t leave Landen; the people needs me and I’ve lost agility, but I will guide him and I´ll pray for his safety.

I must help him. It’s the least I can do in memory of my family, of Ayn and of those who wanted and want this endless war to stop.